


let it fade away (don't fade away)

by greeneyedharpy



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-29
Updated: 2012-04-29
Packaged: 2017-11-04 12:22:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/393793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeneyedharpy/pseuds/greeneyedharpy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sometimes the doctor can't help himself. he has to go back and check.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let it fade away (don't fade away)

**Author's Note:**

> This was written a long time ago, and if I had the conviction I would flesh it out more. But for now, it stands as it is.

Every so often he’ll come and check up on them. Never in the same body, he just goes to make sure they are safe. Happy. That they don’t hate him. He only ever sees Adric once, when Adric is a little boy. He takes one look at him and his heart breaks. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive himself for that. Tegan, Romana, Jo, Nyssa, Jamie – most of them he checks on once, twice, but they’re happy. They don’t need him any longer. 

He’s seen Turlough in no fewer than four of his regenerations. Each time he visits, he tells himself that it will be the last time, that he won’t come back again. But he always does.

He’s well into his seventh life the first time the TARDIS finds its way to Trion. The Doctor doesn’t remember setting the destination, one minute he’s got his cup of tea and ginger snap biscuits, thinking about the days when the TARDIS wasn’t so empty and the next he’s stumbling onto a planet he’s only ever been in his thoughts.

It takes him a day to find his former companion. Though a million scenarios have run through his head since Turlough left to return to Trion, Turlough has neither been tried as a war criminal nor condemned to a vicious death. It’s as if he’s just disappeared. When he does finally find him, the Doctor is shocked. Not so long ago able to pass for a schoolboy, Turlough has aged noticeably. He’s also playing with some young children. Teaching them to play, the Doctor allows himself an ironic smile, cricket.

When Turlough notices him it’s not with relief or recognition or suspicion. Instead he approaches and asks, “Are you the new doctor?” Without innuendo or any sign of familiarity. It’s just a question.

The Doctor stays long enough to learn that Turlough is in rehabilitation to ensure that he can assimilate back into Trion society, but the meeting leaves him uneasy. Instead of satisfying his interests, the encounter raises nothing but new questions. 

The second time the Doctor goes back to Trion, he’s not entirely used to his new body – although he is eternally grateful that this one seems much less bumbling. He arrives before the exile, when Turlough really is a sullen teenager. The Doctor is less concerned about recognition, inserting himself into the household as a tutor. It allows him to slip back into old patterns, much to his dismay. It’s like he misses the young man who had once tried to kill him.

The Doctor is sad when their time is up and he considers taking the young Turlough with him, but he’s breaking the rules just by being here and he has already had enough problems with Gallifrey.

And then the time war happens and everything changes. There are no more Daleks but there are no more Time Lords either. The Doctor is alone – wandering the galaxy, and his thoughts turn once more to Turlough.

He doesn’t make contact this time, he just watches with sad eyes as Turlough – exile, war criminal, disembarks from his ship and is welcomed home with the sort of welcome the Doctor will never have, because he doesn’t have a home anymore. He spends a week watching Turlough, then leaves.

It’s only once he takes a companion with him, if it could be called that. Rose is asleep in the TARDIS, she’ll never know about the detour. The Doctor creeps out into the Trion night. He’s done his research; he knows where to find him.

The minute the Doctor enters the bar he knows exactly where Turlough is. Even without the ginger hair he is unmistakeable. Yet he spares Turlough barely a glance as he takes a seat at the bar and orders whatever is ‘the usual’ on Trion.

It is almost five minutes before Turlough approaches. The habitual smirk is back and he looks so different to the young man teaching children to play cricket.

“You’re terribly obvious,” Are his first words as he nods to the bartender. The Doctor can’t help but smile. Once a Brendon boy… Turlough leans in closer, whispering in his ear, “I know who you are.” 

“And who am I?” The Doctor asks, his eyes never leaving Turlough’s as he takes a drink off the bar and sips it.

The words that come next unsettle the Doctor, even though it was what he’d been hoping for. Turlough’s lips are practically pressed to his ear.

“The Doctor.”

They both know precisely what they want from this encounter and it is not long before they burst through the doors of the TARDIS, panting, eyes fixed on each other. The bedroom they first find had once been Turlough’s, though a leather jacket and some military gear speak of a more recent inhabitant. The Doctor doesn’t tell and Turlough knows better than to ask.

When Turlough grabs the Doctor’s tie and pulls him closer, the Doctor kisses him with such ferocity, such need that Turlough stumbles slightly. But he recovers and he kisses back the same way and it almost seems like a fight. It’s not angry, but it’s not playful either and in a strange way, it’s a comfort to both of them.

They fall back onto the bed, and for once the Doctor isn’t thinking about the others who have slept here, Adric, Jack and how he’s lost them. He’s completely focused on the here and now, on Turlough shedding his clothes with ease and nimble fingertips. 

Bare skin, the Doctor discovers, feels better than the kissing and he’s content to keep exploring Turlough’s body – everywhere but that mark, when Turlough’s fingers wrap around him.

Turlough isn’t there in the morning, but the Doctor isn’t really surprised. Then he notices his tie is missing.


End file.
